The View From The Top

It’s a weird thing once you achieve a dream you’ve had for a long time. You’re proud of your accomplishment, you revel in your completion of whatever it is you set out to do, and then you start to wonder. Okay, now what? 

I’ve wanted to come to Japan for a long time, it was always in the back of my mind as the place I most wanted to travel to. It was subconscious for a long time, and then after covid, I realized the world was a lot more fragile than we think it, and yet I’ve seen so very little of it. So, I wanted to broaden my horizons, and there was no place I’d rather do that than Japan. 

I went back to college, quit my job, started studying Japanese, and dreamed of living in Japan via the JET programme. It was my dream for over 2 years, if not a bit of a dream since childhood. There were times I wasn’t sure it would happen, maybe it just wasn’t meant to be. Then, all of a sudden, I moved to Japan and began a new life. 

I’ve talked quite a bit about my life here, how overwhelming it was, how new and different everything was. Yet over 5 months later, it’s surprising just how much you can get used to. I was in Tokyo this past weekend and found myself with some time to kill, so I ended up wandering around Shibuya. 

My first time seeing the scramble crossing in real life I got a little choked up. It’s still incredible to see in action, it’s not like the magic of being in Japan has worn off, but it’s not quite the same as the first time. I had the thought as I was walking around that people travel to Japan and have just a few days to take in everything that Tokyo, and Japan as a whole, have to offer. I can travel to Tokyo on the weekends almost anytime I want. 

In some ways it’s not an unfamiliar feeling, I grew up near Vancouver afterall. Perhaps because when things become familiar they become less interesting or unique, but Vancouver never seemed like a singular tourist experience in the way that I imagine somewhere like Tokyo can be. I never really walked around Vancouver and was thankful that I had more time to explore the city then tourists are usually afforded. 

I’m not trying to disparage Vancouver, I love that city, and some days I can’t wait to return, see the city, my friends and my family. It’s more to say that it’s surreal that I can go to Tokyo for things as frivolous as a drag show and a haircut. 

I had a few hours to kill in Tokyo before my haircut, and I actually wasn’t sure how I wanted to spend them. I’m sure lots of people travel to Tokyo armed to the teeth with an itinerary of all the different places they want to see and things they want to do. When I first came to Tokyo way back in November, that’s certainly what I did. Just 5 months later I wandered around aimlessly before settling on doing some karaoke. 

Beyond just coming to Japan, I had some vague goals in mind like getting to better learn the language, but mostly I just wanted to get to Japan. I never really thought about what I would do once I got here other than sightsee. While there’s plenty of places left to see, I hit a lot of the major things I was really dying to do. 

While chatting with someone they mentioned that JET is a great opportunity to get your foot in the door for living in Japan. I should use my time to study Japanese, get used to life here, then get my N2 and start working for a Japanese company. I’ve dreamed at times of working at Japanese game companies like Square Enix or Atlus, but I’d always thought of being a western counterpart. I’d never really considered trying to work in game design here in Japan, or really living here long term. 

I always saw this time here in Japan as a chance to see the world before returning home. It was a dream to come here, not a life plan per say. As much as I’ve enjoyed living here, I’ve never really thought about being here long term. I suppose that’s largely because I don’t speak the language, but even if I could I wonder if that's something I would want. 

Bit by bit, as Japan has become a real place I now live, and not just somewhere I dreamed of going, is there enough that would keep me here? While my job is completely different then anything I was doing back home, my hobbies are basically the same. If anything, I had to give up some hobbies when I moved here. 

I’m thankful for the friends I’ve made here, but I’ve yet to make friends with any Japanese people. I still feel like such an outsider, and I often feel that Japan views me that way too. Even if I could magically learn the language overnight, I doubt I’d be seen the same as someone born here in Japan. 

What it means to be from Canada is almost certainly different for everyone, but for me, I think of it as a place that anyone can call home. Canada is a place built by so many different people and cultures, anyone can be Canadian, because I like to believe Canada is for everyone. I’m not sure that I’d ever feel like I’d be a part of Japan, even if that was true on paper. 

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about my time in Japan, what I want to do with the time I have left here, and a bit about my future. Next year I’ll have to decide if I want to extend my contract again, but at the moment I can’t really see myself choosing to stay longer. When thinking about moving to Japan, 2 years seemed ideal. The first year would be tough with all kinds of new experiences, and the second would be a bit more familiar, letting me be more confident and branch out if I wanted. 

I’m sure there’s still plenty of incredible experience I’ll have here in Japan, but I think when the time comes I’ll be ready to leave. It’s hard to describe what makes a place feel like home, I wager some people come to Japan and know they want to stay here forever. For me, I just haven’t had that feeling. 

Japan has become less of a long held dream, and more of a real place. An incredible place that I get to live for another year (and 4 months). Without realizing it though, I’m less frantic to explore, and more happy to just kill time. I’m lucky enough to live somewhere people would love to travel to, and probably feel they don’t get enough time to really experience. 

When I made the decision to stay longer in Japan, I described it as a dream I wasn’t ready to wake up from. Some days it certainly still feels that way, but almost like day by day the haze gradually begins to lift. It’s been a long hike to get here, and I’m still loving the view, but I think that one day I’ll be ready to go.